“Love is patient; love is kind…. It does not insist on its own way…. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Patience, kindness, hope, endurance: Scripture tells us these are the hallmarks of love. You’ll find them all in abundance in the home of Carla Jones, M.D., LSC’s Adoptive Parent of the Year for 2023.
The mother of two young boys adopted from foster care, Dr. Jones was nominated by Torrie Evans, a coordinator in LSC’s Special Needs Adoption Program. We recently spoke with her about her adoption journey.
“I’ve known I wanted to adopt since I was in elementary school!” she recalled. “One year, in the fall, one of my classmates had a new last name. He had been adopted over the summer. I saw such joy in him, and I knew I wanted to bring that kind of joy to a child someday.”
Dr. Jones has always loved children. She was a sought-after babysitter in her church community, and after graduating from medical school she completed an externship at a small family medicine practice – where she discovered that she also loved delivering babies. For 16 of her 28 years in family medicine, Dr. Jones made obstetrics part of her practice. “I loved obstetrics and love continuing the care of the family beyond the delivery room,” noted the North Carolina resident. “I gave up obstetrics when I decided to give full attention to extending my family.”
“My adoption journey took six years from the start of the matching process in 2015 to placement in late 2021,” she added. “I knew I wanted to adopt siblings, and it took a while to find the right match. During that time, I read a lot of books and took parenting classes. I also provided weekend respite care for pre-adoptive families and other foster families. It helped them cope with big life transitions, and it gave me the confidence to parent my own children.”
A new family is born
“I jumped into parenting with both feet,” Dr. Jones recalled. “My boys were four and two years old when they came to me in 2021. Both have had some emotional and behavioral challenges, but with the help of an amazing village of professionals, family, friends, and neighbors, we have come into our own.”
The family went to the courthouse on July 28, 2023 – “my grandmother’s birthday!” – to sign adoption papers. The decree was finalized in August.
It’s clear from speaking with Dr. Jones that her sons are at the center of her life. She goes above and beyond to provide them with a nurturing environment and to educate them about their heritage as African Americans. She even includes their two siblings, who live elsewhere, in family activities. “Too many people have disappeared from my boys’ lives,” she said. “I was not going to let their siblings disappear too.”
Respecting children’s individuality and history
Dr. Jones appreciates her boys’ individual personalities and needs. “[My older son] is a wonderful helper,” she noted. “He has the most beautiful, dimpled smile and inquisitive nature… and he is a champion builder of LEGO towers.”
“[My younger son] is a kind and compassionate little man,” she said. “[It makes me] so proud to see him comfort others with a smile, a touch on the shoulder, or the gift of a toy or a song.”
“Parenting adopted children is hard work, but it’s so rewarding,” Dr. Jones added. “They come to you with their own histories. If they have been through trauma, they may need a little more control and certainty. I give my boys choices when I can – for instance, what they are going to wear – and I let them know what will happen next. I also try to make it safe for them to talk about the past.”
An attitude of gratitude
Dr. Jones credits her skillful transition into parenting to a broad support network. “I’ve learned from other adoptive families and colleagues with children,” she noted. “My mom calls every day. My cousins have been a resource. And my friends and neighbors babysit occasionally to give me a break.”
“Torrie [Evans, of LSC] has also been a tremendous help,” Dr. Jones added. “We’ve been together since the very beginning, and she still does home visits every three months to maintain my foster license.”
At the end of the day, she reflected, “I honestly think my boys have given me more than I have given them. I’m so blessed to be their mom.”
To learn more about LSC’s Special Needs Adoption Program and adopting from foster care, call an LSC case manager at 704-300-4130 or e-mail adoption@LSCarolinas.net.