We’ve all heard the adage that when one door closes, another one opens. For Denise Henry, a personal loss opened her eyes to a holy, unexpected career change: Christian ministry.
“I was married to a Lutheran pastor for over 20 years,” explains the South Carolina native. “We met at a Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary open house. I was majoring in Christian education at Columbia College, and he was studying for the ministry.”
“I must have been discerning a call and didn’t know it,” she muses.
The two married while Henry was still in college. Her husband was soon called to a church in North Carolina – the first of four churches around which their family life would center. During this time, Henry bore two children, earned a master’s degree at Lenoir-Rhyne University, and spent 25 years as a school counselor.
Divorce is difficult in the best of circumstances, but when the reason also ends the pastor’s career, it can send shock waves through the entire congregation. For the pastor’s family, it can feel like being cast adrift in a tsunami. Some step away from organized religion entirely.
Henry, however, leaned in.
“I’m a proponent of [psychiatrist] William Glasser’s Choice Theory,” she explains. “I only have the power to control my own choices. I made the choice not to let divorce destroy my faith.”
“In fact,” she says, “God’s hand was at work.”
Candidacy is the first step toward Lutheran ministry, and in 2015, Henry contacted the North Carolina Synod to get started. She began online coursework with Luther Seminary the following year, and in 2018 she began her first Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program at Palmetto Health (now Prisma Health) Richland Hospital in Columbia.
After a yearlong pause to help with newborn twin grandchildren and to begin to heal from the loss of her parents – both in 2018 – Henry completed a second CPE at Atrium Health Wake Forest Baptist Hospital (“Baptist” for short) in Winston-Salem. Then came an internship at Mount Olive Lutheran Church in Hickory, graduation from Luther Seminary, and a yearlong chaplain residency at Baptist.
Many pastors feel called to congregational ministry, but for Henry, chaplaincy shone brightest.
“Working in hospitals, you sit with people who are going through some of the best, and worst, moments of their lives. You get to be present in the holiest moments,” she notes.
Henry also feels the Holy Spirit guided her to Lutheran Services Carolinas.
“I ran into a Trinity Elms social worker in the bathroom at Baptist, and she mentioned they were looking for a chaplain,” she recalls. “In order to be ordained, you must have a call [an official invitation to minister]. Trinity Elms and Trinity Glen [LSC senior care communities] are my call.”
Henry had served one year as a student pastor, but to accept a position with LSC, she needed special permission from the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) to go directly into chaplaincy work instead of a pulpit. Permission was granted, and Henry joined LSC in late December 2022. She was ordained in February 2023 at The Lutheran Church of the Epiphany in Winston-Salem.
Rev. Henry’s day-to-day work at Trinity Elms and Trinity Glen begins with morning meetings. Later in the morning, she leads devotionals for the residents, including those in memory care.
“Devotionals require physical energy because I’m moving around a lot: interacting with residents, singing, sometimes leading community service activities,” she notes. “But they also give me energy.”
Quiet time follows, for administrative work and worship planning. In the afternoon Rev. Henry visits any hospitalized residents. She also supports teammates who need spiritual care.
“Not all of my teammates are Christian or even religious,” she says. “I’m here to hold space for everyone. A good chaplain meets you where you are.”
Rev. Henry’s leadership extends beyond senior care communities. She recently served as chaplain of the 2024 North Carolina Women of the ELCA gathering, where she led worship with Bishop Tim Smith.
It’s a big job, Rev. Henry says, but she has help. Her teammates call her if she’s not in the building when someone is actively dying or has died; this allows her to provide spiritual care to the family and teammates while serving two campuses.
In addition, Rev. Henry notes, “I tell our residents they are the hands and feet and eyes of Jesus. And I am constantly moved by my teammates’ expressions of faith and their willingness to pray for each other.”
As part of the current “first call” cohort in the North Carolina Synod, Rev. Henry is provided spiritual and emotional support opportunities, along with three years of annual retreats. She also has a strong peer network of fellow chaplains.
In her private life, Rev. Henry says, “I have a wonderfully supportive husband, Sam, and I try to practice mindfulness. Sometimes, on really tough days, a cup of caramel macchiato coffee can do wonders.”
Would she recommend chaplaincy, or the pastorate, to LSC teammates who are considering a second career?
“My advice is, never say never,” she laughs.
To learn more about becoming an ELCA minister or deacon, click here.