Sowing kindness, reaping love: A visit with foster-to-adoptive parent Joseph Hildebran

Just outside the small city of Morganton, North Carolina in the foothills of the Blue Ridge lies a quaint stone farmhouse. Cheerful flowers adorn the front yard, and as you pull into the driveway, Joseph Hildebran and his little white dog Lou bound off the porch to greet you.

Hildebran is a regional foster care recruiter for Lutheran Services Carolinas, covering Iredell, Catawba, Caldwell, Burke, Wilkes, Lincoln, Cleveland, and Gaston counties. He is also a single dad extraordinaire: Hildebran has poured his heart and soul into creating a place of comfort and creativity for his own foster-to-adoptive children in the town where he grew up.

“I guess I’m a spiritual person by nature,” he recalled. “My mom tells me that when I was five years old, I was outside playing in my playhouse one day when I started to cry. I came to her and said, ‘Mama, I want to adopt.’”

Hildebran’s first opportunity to foster came in 2014. He had moved to West Virginia and was studying to become a teacher when a neighbor who had fallen on hard times asked him to care for her son, one of seven children.

“She was struggling with substance use disorder and completely overwhelmed,” Hildebran said. “He stayed with me for a year.”

Hildebran later moved to Tennessee, where he was licensed as an emergency foster parent. He has since fostered several more children and adopted three.

Hildebran’s son Brayden came to him as a toddler. The two were settling into life together when Hildebran received an urgent call from the local Department of Social Services (DSS): Brayden’s birth father and his partner had just had a baby girl, Rachel-Ann, and an emergency home was needed.

“Most people have nine months to prepare; I had nine minutes!” Hildebran quipped. “I had nothing for a baby.”

The community rallied around Hildebran and his growing brood. Some women from a local Methodist church donated a crib, baby supplies, and a helping hand.

“I wasn’t even a member of their church,” Hildebran remembered fondly, “but they came and rocked the baby so I could sleep.”

It is not uncommon for multiple children from a biological family to enter the foster care system. It is less common to be able to keep those children together. Hildebran is glad to do his part: in addition to Brayden and Rachel-Ann, he has fostered and since adopted their cousin, Rebekah.

During the pandemic, the family moved to Morganton, where Hildebran fixed up the farmhouse they now call home.

On the first floor of the house, musical instruments, Bible quotes, and a woodstove give the impression you’ve stepped back in time. Upstairs, whimsical colors adorn the children’s bedrooms, while toys, books, and shoes are lined up neatly in the playroom. There’s even a “secret room” Hildebran discovered in the girls’ bedroom wall.

When asked how he creates such a nurturing environment as a single parent who works full-time, Hildebran is quick to acknowledge his support network.

“We have a wonderful housekeeper who comes over the mountain four days a week,” he said. “And my sister and mother live close by.”

Hildebran is proudest of the fact that his children are well-adjusted. “When you look at them side by side with other children in their grades, you can see they are good, caring kids. Their teachers adore them,” he said.

“I have tried to plant kindness,” Hildebran added.

The family also knows how to have fun. “We have a big garden out back, a pool, and a trampoline,” Hildebran noted. “We like to hang our hammocks out in the trees and sleep on the front porch when the weather is warm.”

Hildebran’s house swells with youthful exuberance as the children return home from school. It’s Friday, cause for celebration. A squabble erupts over television – half an hour, Rebekah’s turn to choose – and where to eat dinner.

Like all families, Hildebran’s is not immune to occasional discord. Like the best families, it is deeply rooted in love.

Learn more

For information on foster parenting with LSC, email NCFosterCare@LSCarolinas.net for North Carolina or SCFosterCare@LSCarolinas.net for South Carolina.

Additional content
  • Why foster or adopt with LSC? Joseph Hildebran explains in this video.
  • Hildbran addresses a common concern about foster care in this video.
  • See how Hildebran helps his oldest daughter connect to her roots in this video.